I have been raised in a farm lost on the country side of Toscana set amongst forests of oak trees , vineyards and castles. My mother was a vegetarian, almost a vegan with the sole exceptions of the honey made by the few colony of bees gently kept by a woman her best friend in the nearest house, about 4km away, and few eggs forgiven by the free chickens running totally undisturbed around our lands and picked by her before they get bad or eaten by other animals.
Our village was made of five families tree were locals , 1 from Switzerland and 1 from Germany escaped from their rich but cold countries to the poetry of the Tuscany sunsets.
We had a lake and a river but nobody ever been fishing there. So sometimes we had kids from other families coming to visit and stay to play with us.
I remember some of those kids were cruel with small animals , like for example they enjoy capturing lizards and make them to lose the tail just for the fun of it. Or they throw cats on the air, or tormenting our peaceful dog pulling his tail. Despite I was one of the smallest in the group I always have been fighting to stop this abuses and protect the small animals.
To me, animals were sacred friends. No matter if would have cost my life I will give it to protect them.
So when I was five six years old, they tried to send me to preschool. And was not a successful attempt as I organized several escapes and the teachers running around the countryside looking for missing little kids, and I made several tragedies screaming and crying every single day untill I was finally banned. Once home I was calm again with my best friend dog and the other animals at the farm. One of the most horrible things I remember of the preschool was the ham served on the plates with the veg and the pasta as it was food. Sliced pork is food? I cannot sit at that table without feel sick.
Was also impossible to bring me inside restaurants where was living lobsters in the aquarium I was going to mess up that restaurant, so my grand parents had to stop bringing me in such places when I was visiting them in the big City.
But later I grow up more and I whent to the real school. There they had separated male and female toilets and everybody was eating meat everywhere. At one point I also get used to that and I have begun to trade my vegetarian home made food for industrial snacks and sandwiches with meat inside.
I was still a defender of the animals, but less than before and I had episodes were I was going to fishing or even small hunts. I was not feeling good doing so, but I was enjoying a sort of primordial excitement of "capturing my food" and also was a way to rebel to the predetermined structure of my family and mother.
I started living on my own when I turned fourteen, because I chose a middle school located in another city. I also becomed an horse rider and later a semi professional horse trainer for jumping competitions. Since that time I have been a very big meat eater untill let's say around another phase of my life that happened when I was 23 or maybe 25. At that older age I discovered some chemical drugs that did to me what I consider a usefull positive reset and also I have watched the documentary movie "Earthlings".
After watching that movie all the world collapsed on me. What had happened to me? Why had I become so insensitive towards animals?
So I immediately abandoned the horse riding and I became a pure vegan and in addition to that a freegan. For about nine years I have been one of the most radical and perfect freegan vegan I ever meet. And now again, I'm not anymore so straight about this and despite "I love the animals" around me I do eat meat more than occasionally. I'm a practicing Buddhist and when you do rituals from the tantra tradition , like pujas , this involves the use of meat and other animal products.
The reasons is that in those traditions we see the whole dualistic existence as a dream and, as you can observe when you go to sleep, dreams they manifest some experiences that are flowing mirroring the previous other experiences of the awaken life or even other dreams. For example if during your day you drive the car or play a guitar all day you have good chance to make a dream where you are driving a car or playing the guitar. Same happens when you die. If you did some specific experiences during your life they will be good chances you will have similar experiences in your next life, not same, maybe distorted but on the flow as, sometimes is called , a mental continuum.
So for example one animal from a factory farm have very little chance to have a different life in the next life because of this principle. Is a Perpetual Life sentence that never extinguishes unless something happens to break that circle.
A tantra practitioner that is aware of that and have learned the method from a qualified master is able to put a cause to change that infinite pattern for those animals. Any kind of contact with the animal can be beneficial in that sense and even if you only eat the meat you can put a cause.
I totally believe this, as I have personal experiences on my personal memories that the life circle of samsara is working like that. So tantra teachers they say that to be a vegetarian (vegan) is a small compassion, but to eat meat with presence is a big compassion. Anyway they also warn that if you eat meat for pleasure is not going to work and is going to bring very bad karma and more troubles also to your own dimension so if you are not a realized practitioner it may better for you to choose to practice the small compassion (being a vegan that follow vegetarian diet).
I have been observing myself and I can say that to be a realized practitioner all time is very difficult! Some they may say near to impossible. So because meat is to our human body addictive and brings fire energy very soon even if you eat small quantities only during rituals you start to eat more and more and you become addicted, doomed and you are paving your way to the lower realms.
So in the main times what is happening to the animals? It is okay to put a good cause to those who are already dead, but what about those who are still alive? Why as humans of this degenerated era is so hard for us to respect their dimension and what we can do to finally freed them from the tormenting slavery we are currently imposing them?
The original movie that changed my life is from youtube not at top quality
the restored 2010 version (is basically the same but the quality of images is higher)
or if you want to support Joaquin Phoenix watch from here